Leaving Home
by WritingCrow
Summary: After discovering the existence of gems on Earth Peridot files a report that will send them, Jasper and the unwilling Lapis Lazuli on a roughly month long journey through space. An examination of the motivation and dynamics of the dysfunctional trio set inbetween the episodes 'Marble madness' and 'The Return'. tw: Abuse, self harm, suicide mention This is my first fic, pls b gentl
1. Chapter 1

Peridot felt the last lingering pressure of atmosphere disappear as they gently moved away from Homeworld. A slight spark of excitement started to grow somewhere inside as the engines throttled up at a flex of a mental muscle. This was the first time Peridot had travelled off planet, in person that is, they had taken a thousand voyages to far flung outposts through virtual presence but this was different. The fingers of the ship clenched slightly as the gem pushed that feeling down, focusing instead on setting their heading for Earth.

At the rear of the ship Jasper and Lapis Lazuli stood staring out the viewing portal at the rapidly diminishing planet behind them.  
Jasper stood in a stiff salute, a disparaging look on their face as they glanced at Lapis Lazuli, the smaller gem was pressed up against the window staring out desperately. A small squeak escaped Lapis Lazulis lips, their fingers scratching slightly at the window as the planet disappeared completely.

Jasper laughed loudly, moving to stand at ease "What's wrong? Afraid you won't be able to fly home this time?" Lapis' fingers clenched into fists as they slid to their knees "you wouldn't understand" their voice caught sharply "I keep losing -" "That's right" Jasper interrupted "I wouldn't". Jasper leaned down to whisper in Lapis' ear "Because I'm not weak".

Jaspers laughs trailed off as they marched away, leaving Lapis slumped in defeat, whispering softly to themselves "I am weak. I'm sorry Steven, I tried not to tell them but… I'm just weak"

Peridot was suddenly jerked out of resonance with the ship, spasms rushing through their form as their senses collapsed back into their corporeal state. There appeared to be something bright in front of them, had they crashed into a sun? No, that was impossible, wait… that was sound, Peridot shook their head to try and rearrange their senses. Slowly becoming aware of a heavy hand on their shoulder and a loud voice in their ear "Your problem? Hey, Peridot, I'm talking to you!".  
"OK! Just stop shaking me!" Peridot reached out to steady themselves on something, only managing to swipe through the interface panel, overwriting their senses again with the ships input, resulting in even more disorientation.  
"You're sitting down you idiot". Peridot flopped backwards over the chair, staring up at the fuzzy figure of jasper standing over them "Please don't do that… disconnecting from ship controls without ejecting safely can..." Peridot dry retched slightly "urgh… damage the system. Plus it really sucks"

"Whatever." Jasper tapped their foot impatiently "How long is this trip going to take"  
Peridot frowned "Seriously? I told you before we left, about 720 hours"  
Jasper grumbled crankily "Are you sure you couldn't fix the transport pads on Earth?"  
"Yes! That's the entire reason you are here, because Rose Quartz and her minions kept destroying my Robonoids" Peridot stood up, looking back to the interface panel quickly, busying themselves with setting the autopilot before they really did crash into a sun.  
"Yes" jasper moved forwards, gripping the back of Peridots chair, cracking it slightly "I am looking forwards to that… Yellow Diamond will be most pleased when I bring back the shards of her gem"  
Peridot wasn't listening, Jaspers chest was pressing up behind them and they were too busy biting their lip and trying to subtly lean back into the large gems warm muscles more.

Jasper turned away and began walking swiftly out of the room, leaving Peridot to windmill wildly, attempting to avoid falling out the now slightly pulverised chair "Alert me when we are getting close, don't disturb me until them".  
Peridot regained their balance, now blushing heavily in embarrassment 'Diamond damn it, our first time alone together and I stuff it up'. They glared at the majesty of space sailing past in front of them 'hurmph… did they say something before they left? Oh well'.

Peridot stretched their fingers out into their screen and swiped a few commands to restore the chair. They wouldn't need to pilot the ship again until they reached Earth and there wasn't much else to do on-board so they had about 719 hours to work on things with Jasper. Peridot grinned evilly raising their fist and cackling out loud "No one can last that long against the charms of the Lord of Dating sims!" Peridot spun around, crossing their arms dramatically "It's a shame, this will almost be too easy… Hohohoooo…" they trailed off, eyes wide in horror. "Ummmm… hello" Laps said, standing in the doorway, a concerned expression on their face.

"…Hi" Peridot continued to stare blankly. "I'm Lapis, Lapis Lazuli"  
"Oh, of course, that old gem. From Earth yes?"  
Lapis' eye twitched slightly but her smile held "Yes. This is the first time I've been on a ship like this and I was wondering if you could show me how it works?"  
Peridot assumed a haughty expression, looking down their nose at Lapis "heh, I'm afraid it would be a bit complicated for an old Gem like you. I mean it's hard enough to teach most old timers how to access the Singing Screen network, let alone explain the intricacies involved with fusing your consciousness with one of the most advanced pieces of technology the Empire has to offer!"  
"Please?" Lapis smiled warmly "maybe you could just explain the basics? There isn't really much else to do here… Unless you wanted to fill me in on Gem history up to this point, I know a lot of ancient history but nothing really recent"  
"eeeeeurgh… yeah, okay, well this is the main control room the majority of the ships functions are controlled from here" Peridot spun around to disguise their crestfallen face. If what it took to get rid of this scrawny old gem then they supposed it was better than talking HISTORY! Diamond, what did they look like? Some musty old Amber?  
"Basically the system works by fusing your senses with the input from the ship, the resonant impulses from your gem are interrupted and received by the computer, translating them into commands"

"Resonant Impulses?" Lapis was looking rather lost "So, you think at it and it does stuff?"  
Peridot sighed heavily "look, you know how when you fuse with someone you make movements, mentally, and then those movements are performed depending on the joint input of your partner and the form of your fusion?"  
"Oh... I've never actually fused with anyone before..." Lapis looked at the ground, blushing slightly  
"Wow, talk about a thousand year old virgin" Peridot snickered "What were you doing on Earth all that time?"  
A sudden shriek of deforming metal filled the cabin "Not… Much…" Lapis' smile was much shakier now, almost a snarl. The small gems body was shaking slightly and a pair of watery wings began to unfurl behind her  
"Ah… I mean" Peridot stammered slightly.  
Lapis relaxed, their shoulders slumped and their hands fell to their sides, their face returning to a forced smiles "I apologise, just… nothing". They turned and walked away quickly, hugging their arms tight to their chest.

Peridot walked up to the doorway and glanced through to check that Lapis really was gone before examining the place where they had been leaning, the imprint of a clenched fist was embossed into the lintel, the thick metal crushed like aluminium foil.  
Peridot spun their fingers into a fan and held it up to their face, gulping audibly  
"Well…. I guess they are a bit stronger than they look"  
With their other hand they called up their screen and began putting in the maintenance commands "hmmm, with this many angry Gems with this little regard for the ships integrity maybe I should've brought extra spare parts… Oh well, we can just strip mine Earth when we get there"  
Peridot shrugged and walked off, happily whistling the theme to Love Love Revolution. Time to go see what Jasper was up to.

Jasper was standing in the centre of the training room when Peridot found them, arms folded above their head.  
They were grinning through gritted teeth as a hologram Jasper wearing heavy gauntlets punched continuously at their stomach.  
Peridot hung back at the doorway, peering around into the room. They were trying to formulate a way to announce their presence as smoothly and coolly as possible but Jaspers bare chest was glistening in a most distracting manner and the occasional grunts they let out as the jackhammer blows slammed into their body was making it most difficult to concentrate.  
An audible crack echoed through the chamber as cracks began to spread across the gauntlets  
"heh, nearly there" Jasper grunted through their teeth "Nothings stronger than me, not even me!"

Peridot snorted loudly, covering their mouth quickly but not before Jasper turned their head in surprise  
"WHAT?! I told y-"  
An even louder crack echoed through the chamber as the hologram slammed their first wrist deep into Jaspers unprepared stomach. In one swift motion Jasper grabbed the holograms shoulder and, summoning their weapon, headbutted the holograms head through its shoulders, making it disappear in an orange flash. Then, rather less gracefully they fell to their knees and vomited blue slime everywhere. "PERIDOT!"

Peridot stepped out from behind the door "H-hey…"  
"You worthless… hurk" Jasper retched again, struggling to stand before slipping on the slime and falling back down again.  
"Do you need a hand, I'm so sorry" Peridot rushed forwards to help them, stopping suddenly as, the second they got close enough Jaspers arm snapped out and grabbed their shoulder.  
"I. Do not need… your help" Jasper grunted, leaning heavily on Peridot as they hauled themselves to their feet "And what did I tell you before?"  
Peridot squeaked quietly, her knees threatening to buckle under Jaspers weight "That's right. I said don't… Disturb me" Jasper breathed heavily, straightening up to reveal the deep cracks spreading out from their stomach.

Once they regained their footing Jasper let go of Peridots neck, leaving the smaller gem to totter backwards, wincing heavily and cheeks flushed "I'm really sorry" they whispered hoarsely "Is there anything I can do? My Robonoids can-"  
"Shut it, I don't need any help from you or your stupid machines. I can heal this in no time. Just don't you dare disturb me again or I will snap your legs off and stick you in that chair for the rest of this mission!" Jasper threw one last glare at Peridot before grabbing a cape from the rack by the door and swirling it around them dramatically as they stormed out.

"Well. That could have gone better..." Peridot massaged some feeling back into their shoulder "and what even is that stuff" Peridot regarded the blue slime distastefully, quickly calling up their screen to order a Robonoid to start cleaning it up.

'This seemed like more than enough failed social interactions for now' Peridot thought bitterly, beginning to walk to their quarters. 'Maybe I'm being to proactive?' they pondered this thought for a while before their hair lit up brightly 'Of course! With a strong, dominant character like Jasper you have to _wait_ for their flags to come up, you can't just force things'.  
Peridot flopped down on their meditation couch happily 'I just need to wait for the right 'event'… and in the meantime' they called up their screen, locking the door before booting up DANCEmatical Murder.

A few hours later Peridot was engrossed with trying to decide which of the broody and muscular ex-criminals to fuse with for the final dance off when they became aware of a loud banging coming from somewhere. 'Hmmmmmm' they thought absently 'maybe a meteor shower?' The banging stopped and Peridot was about to return to the game when suddenly a large orange fist punched through their door. The hand felt around for a few seconds before withdrawing to grab the edge of the new hole and tear the door off its hinges.

'Ok' thought Peridot, this was defiantly an event but was Jasper coming to kill them "That's not really what I had in mind"  
"WHAT ARE YOU MUMBLING ABOUT!" Jasper roared, storming into the room. Their chest was wrapped tight with sealant tape and in one hand she held the limp form of Lapis Lazuli, dangling from Jaspers tight grasp around their arm.  
"Whoa! Wait, what are you doing?" Peridot jumped up, raising their hands  
Jasper stared at Peridot incredulously "What have you been doing, look at that!" They pointed to the communication screen on Peridots wall, currently muted. There was Lapis, obviously saying something.  
"THAT IS BROADCASTING ON ALL FREQUENCIES DIRECTLY AT EARTH!" Jasper bellowed as Peridot scrabbled to unmute the screen

"-Steven, Homeworld, it's not the way it used to be, I can't even understand it-"  
"wait, but why?" Peridot looked to Jasper in confusion  
"It doesn't matter why! It's looping, you need to shut it off now!" Jasper was gesticulating wildly, sending Lapis flailing around like a doll.  
Peridot nodded, ducking under the swinging lapis and dashing for the cockpit, a second later their feet left the floor as Jasper yanked them off their feet from behind "too slow" said Jasper, tucking Peridot under their free arm and sprinting off at a speed that made Peridot feel like their fingers were in danger of getting left behind.

A few seconds later they entered the command room, Jasper hurled Peridot with expert accuracy, landing them perfectly, if extremely disoriented in the chair.  
Peridot wasted no time in slipping into the ships matrix. It was instantly clear what Lapis had done, their programming was exceedingly crude, if you could even call it that, it looked like they had just set up the command prompts through sheer force of will, no small achievement honestly. Peridot cut short their begrudging admiration remembering that Jasper was behind them and that they should probably hurry up before the exceedingly agitated gem began pulverising something that wasn't the chair. The signal was quickly shut down, due to the transmission delay it would still be looping for a while to anyone on Earth but only for maybe a dozen hours or so.

Peridot slipped back out of the matrix, properly this time, after checking that Lapis hadn't interfered with the autopilot.  
"All done" Peridot spun the chair around to smile smugly at Jasper "and don't worry, I've seen the state of their technology, it's unlikely anyone on Earth would be able to pick up this signal let alone decode it properly" they trailed off slightly, Jasper was grinding their teeth and the grainy chunks of a fist sized lump of broken chain were falling from their free hand. Peridot was a bit worried about the state of Lapis wrist, but more to the point Jasper looked legitimately worried.

"Everything's okay, it was just a message and like I said-"  
"You don't understand' Jasper snapped, staring Peridot directly in the eyes "If Rose Quartz gets this message then they'll have time to prepare for us, gather her armies… They were all supposed to be wiped out!" there was a touch of fear in their eyes and a mania that started to scare Peridot themselves "I was there, I was part of the last survey corps… it was a beautiful war, nothing has compared since but the higher-ups made the decision before I could meet Roses main forces. They used the final solution… Nothing should have survived that, if they did it means they are capable of far more than we thought." Jasper turned away from Peridot, letting Lapis slip from their grasp and fall to the ground with a thump. "This mission relied on stealth, the element of surprise. I can't fight an army alone… not without Chalcedony"

"You aren't alone" Peridot stood, walking over to Jasper and placing a hand on their elbow (mentally cursing they couldn't reach their shoulder) "You've got me. And in case you haven't noticed, I'm packing some serious firepower in this here hand of mine" Peridot grinned in what they hoped was a cool way, doing their best to not flinch as Jasper turned to look at them, a slightly bemused look on their face.  
Jasper was silent for a few seconds before breaking into a sharklike grin of their own "well said young one, well said… I don't mean to insult your pride as a warrior but I don't think you should be taking the front lines" They took Peridots hand in their own, surprisingly gently "These hands weren't made for war"  
'FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK' Peridot was screaming internally, the slight sparkles in their eyes belying the wave off anxiety that was flooding through them 'Say something! Say anything! Don't fall over!'  
"Ummm… I meant the ship, you know… because it's a hand… my hand…" 'Moment ruined'

Jasper stared blankly at Peridot for a few seconds before breaking out in raucous laughter, slapping Peridot on the back and knocking them flat on the floor "hahahahahah, your hand! Hahaha, very nice very nice" Jasper stopped, breathing heavily, to wipe a tear from their eye "ahhh… wordplay"  
"Now" they turned to look at lapis unconscious form, face becoming serious "What do we do with the traitor"  
Peridot felt a twinge of empathy for the crumpled gem but quickly stamped it out "We still need them alive correct?" Jasper waited perhaps a little too long before replying "Yes."  
"I'll prepare a holding cell then. We can find out why they were trying to contact these 'Stevens' later…" Peridot quietly added on an order to have a Robonoid look Lapis over later. They might be a traitor but the sight of their body, just, lying there, all crumpled made Peridot feel sick.

The next few hours passed without incident. Peridot remained in the command room, keeping an eye on Lapis in their cell. The Robonoid had reported that they had received major physical trauma but their gem was undamaged and their physical harmonies were stable. It made Peridot shudder slightly, that Jasper was capable of such violence against another gem.  
Peridot knew that Jasper was a warrior, and that they had fought in wars, some of them against gems but to actually see it, up close like that and to someone they had just been talking to.  
Peridot wasn't quite sure if it was a turn on or if it scared them. Maybe a little of both.

A few more hours passed. Peridot tried to waste some more time on DANCEmatical Murder but their gem wasn't really in it. Instead they alternated between checking on Lapis and trying to figure out how long they should wait before going to see Jasper to not appear needy.  
They were just starting to consider steering into an asteroid belt to try and make something interesting happen when the ping of the computer alerted her that Lapis was moving around.  
Turning back to the screens Peridot saw that Lapis had moved to a sitting position at the back of the cell. Perfect. Peridot reached out to connect to the ship and send a message to Jasper but hesitated.  
It would probably go better without Jaspers presence.  
Comfortable with this conclusion Peridot reset the autopilot and hurried off towards the holding cells.


	2. Chapter 2

Peridot cleared their throat loudly. They had been standing in front of Lapis' cell for a good few seconds and they had kept their head buried in their arms the whole time, still curled up in the back corner.  
Lapis looked up with a start, throwing up their arms as if to shelter their face. "Oh, it's you" they seemed to relax slightly upon seeing that it was just Peridot "what do you want?"  
Peridot called up their screen and began reading out loud "Lapis lazuli, you are being held in temporary custody under accusation of treason. You will be detained here until we return to Homeworld where you will stand trial for your actions." Peridot closed the screen and took a step forwards, smiling warmly "of course, if you just tell me why you did it I could make things much easier, I mean, I don't even have to report this if you help us with the whole Earth problem enough"  
Peridot was glad they took those interrogation courses, make the subject think you are their friend, and if they won't cooperate, threaten something worse "look, I understand if you don't want to talk to me, I can go get Jasper if you like" Lapis twitched slightly, rubbing their wrist at the memory of pain. Inwardly Peridot chuckled smugly, this was almost too easy, the old relic was already broken.

"Why did you try to contact the Stevens? Do they have some sort of control over you? Did they force you to do it?"  
Lapis shook their head angrily "No! No, Steven is my friend. He's just a human, I wanted to warm him"  
"Your friend?" Peridot tried not to sound too derisive  
"He talked to me. He helped me to get home"  
"Ahh yes, home. Where, according to reports, you quickly got yourself marked as a 'Social Agitator', spreading misinformation and speaking out against government policies… I'm sure some of this could be marked off as difficulties reacclimatising, but you didn't try very hard to assimilate did you?"  
"I… I just didn't understand it. Everything's changed so much!" Lapis glared at Peridot, tears gathering at the corner of their eyes.

"Okay, okay, it's alright. None of it was really that bad, the only reason you made it into the system was because of the nature of your sudden return. Which brings me to my next question. Why did you leave Earth?"  
"Why did I leave?" Peridot took a step back at the anger in lapis' voice and the seething hatred that had suddenly began to emanate from the frail looking gem "Do you know what they did to me there? Do you know how the Crystal Gems treated me! I left because I wanted to go home, because I love my home! Because my thoughts of home were the only thing THAT KEPT ME SANE ALL THAT TIME!" Lapis stopped, almost visibly deflating as the angry energy seemed to leave them. Crumpling to their knees just in front of the cell barrier "and then when I got there I found that my home had been gone for a long time."

Peridot was speechless "I… ah… I'm sorry"  
"You're sorry?" Lapis' voice caught as they looked at Peridot a slight laugh dying in their throat "You don't have the slightest idea what I've been through. You don't even know what you are doing here. You are trying to draw answers from me when you don't even know the questions"  
Peridot took another step back, the gems stare was intense, fixating "No, I'm just-"  
"I've seen more interrogations than you have years" lapis stood slowly, a lopsided grin on their face and a dark gleam in their eyes "I've witnessed torture that would make you retreat into your gem just from thinking about it! You don't understand anything about me, or Earth, or why you are doing what you are doing" they pressed their face as close to the light barrier as they could without being repelled, small sparks popping near their nose

"No, I. We are heading to Earth to facilitate the reactivation of its kindergarten and associated facilities and to investigate sightings of the War Criminal know as rose quartz" Peridot blurted out the textbook perfect report in a single hurried breath  
"LIAR!" Lapis snapped instantly "You didn't see Rose Quartz… Why are you lying"  
Peridot had the sinking feeling that they may be losing control of this interrogation "No, I was reactivating the Kindergarten remotely when I Rose Quartz and a number of other gems attacked up devices and-"  
A look of realisation spread across lapis face "You don't even know who Rose Quartz is do you?"  
Peridot wiped the sweat from her forehead, their goggles beginning to fog up

Lapis smiled, moving back and sitting down gracefully "I'm sorry for upsetting you Peridot, you aren't the one I should be angry with, you are just a pawn in this after all"  
"Wh-what do you mean by that?" Peridot said incredulously "I am an interplanetary colonisation overseer second cl-"  
"I'll tell you why if you tell me why you lied" Lapis interrupted Peridot matter of factly.  
"Um, well, okay. Just promise you won't tell anyone? I could get in trouble."  
"Of course, now please, sit" Lapis smiled warmly, speaking softly and calmly  
"Heh" Peridot chuckled embarrassedly as they sat down in front of the cell "Well, it's kind of stupid. When I first made the report my overseer got really freaked out and asked if I had seen a gem called Rose Quartz, they said they were a very dangerous criminal. Before that it wasn't really a serious matter, just a few rogue elements interfering with due process, we would have just send a small unit to clear things out and reclaim the planet but this seemed big. So I figured if I said yes I would get to go on a special mission to deal with things personally. And… I might be able to request Jasper as an escort…" Peridot rubbed the back of their head awkwardly, blushing heavily.  
"Jasper? Really? This was all just so you could get Jasper to come with you?" For a second Peridot thought they could hear something else in Lapis' voice but then it was back to being soft and calming, the voice of an understanding friend.

"Well, I used to sometimes see them leading military drills in the field across from my building, after that I managed to get a few jobs overseeing some of the colonisation efforts in some of the more dangerous areas and I always put in requests for Jaspers detachment when we needed military intervention. Eventually I got to see them in action, taking out a fortified moon base that was blocking us from sending ships into orbit around an alien occupied planet. It was amazing, just, seeing them like that. A perfect orchestra of muscle and violence!" Peridot stared at the ceiling dreamily  
"Yes. I know, I've felt it" Lapis commented icily  
"And after that" Peridot continued on oblivious "I just couldn't stop thinking about them. I kept trying to arrange for us to bump into each other but they never really gave me a second glance" Peridot spun their fingers around gloomily "I'm just a button pusher after all. But this is my chance! I can prove myself and finally get Jasper to notice me!" Peridot smiled at Lapis excitedly and was surprised to see that Lapis' friendly smile had turned into a gleeful leer.

"I knew Jasper. Back on Earth, the first time they were there. They don't remember me. But I remember them. I remember what happened to the last person who fought alongside them…"  
Peridot stared incredulously, waiting for Lapis to continue.  
"You can't just say something like that and not finish it!"  
"Yes I can!" Lapis giggled, rolling onto their back  
"No! Argh... you... argh!' Peridot stood up and stamped their feet, fuming "Of all the clichéd, stupid antagonist things to say! You're just making it up aren't you?"  
Lapis replied slowly and quietly "If I'm the antagonist why am I the one in the cage?"  
"No, enough! I'm putting my foot down, I'm asking the questions here!"  
"Or what?"  
"I'll get Jasper!"  
"I'll tell them everything you said"  
"You…" Peridot paced back and forwards for a few seconds before stopping and pulling out their Gem Destabiliser, an evil look spreading across their face.  
The aura of menace was then instantly broken by Lapis' pealing laughter, as pure as a crystal bell.  
"Don't embarrass yourself Peridot" Lapis turned their head to smile at Peridot as they stretched one of their arms up towards the ceiling, stretching out their fingers like they were trying to grasp the sky.  
Peridot was about so say something as Lapis slowly reached up with their other hand and firmly grasped their middle finger "Wait, what are you-"  
A sickening CRACK, loud as a gunshot echoed though the hall. Lapis didn't flinch, their eyes locked onto Peridots, crystal clear sinks of madness. Their middle finger now dangling limply, hanging at a right angle to their hand.  
Peridot dropped the Destabiliser and rushed towards the cell, almost tripping into the field as their knees buckled involuntarily "WHAT THE FUCK! Why would you DO THAT! Are you okay!?"  
"I wasn't lying" Lapis spoke calmly "I lived without a body for long enough that pain doesn't mean anything to me. And I have witnessed acts that are beyond your imagination to consider, much less surpass"  
"Okay, fine! You don't need help, I can't make you do anything, you win!' Peridot threw up their arms and stormed out grumbling in anxious frustration "I feel sick…"

Lapis lay in silence for a few long minutes before moving their finger back into place and shape-shifting their other fingers to form a rough splint for the broken finger.  
For the first time a genuine smile was on the small gems face "I win" They repeated it again, as if trying out how the words felt in their mouth "I. Win"  
they breathed heavily, spreading their arms out on the floor around them "No one's ever said _that_ to me before."  
Peridot was clearly a young gem, so very modern. And as much as they seemed to think they were in control Lapis knew that these feelings towards Jasper was something they could use. Maybe Peridot wasn't quite as brainwashed as the rest of the gems Lapis had seen on Homeworld?  
Comforted by this possibility of hope Lapis closed their eyes and began to think, how best to make Peridot understand?

Peridot was pacing back and forth in the central area of the ship, they couldn't get the sound of Lapis breaking their finger out of their head.  
"What the fuck is wrong with them?" they muttered to themselves.  
After a little while they stopped and shook their head, trying to force away the thoughts of the frail gems self-mutilation. They needed to focus on how to proceed with the interrogation, they had committed the cardinal sin last time, allowing the subject to talk control of the questioning.  
It was just so easy to think of them as a friend, so open and per- "FUCK!" Peridot shouted out loud, swinging their arms about angrily "they totally played me! That's like, interrogation basics!"  
They sighed heavily, letting the anger seep out of them. So much for Lapis' spirit already be broken.  
And now that they had spilled their guts like a gem fresh out of kindergarten they couldn't get Jasper to help either "I knew I should have made notes to go off" Peridot fumed, "Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" punctuating each exclamation with a heavy slap to their face.

A large hand grabbed Peridots wrist, stopping it mid swing  
"Slapping as a very inefficient form of attack. Especially when you don't have a palm" Jaspers gravelly voice came from behind.  
Peridot turned around slowly, their face flushed brightly, not just from the stinging red stripes left by their fingers.  
Jasper stood there nonchalantly, one hand still holding Peridots wrist, the other holding a small plastic tub of blue goopy substance with a spoon sticking out of it.

"Oh. Hey." Peridot finally managed lamely "How long have you been standing there?"  
Jasper scrunched up their face in concentration before answering "About 12 seconds"  
"huh…"  
"Which" Jasper continued, a smile spreading across their face "was long enough for me to see that you have no idea how to hit someone. Besides, if you really want someone to beat you up why not let me do it?"  
"I… oh, er" Peridot stammered, their goggles fogging up almost instantly, their face starting to enter a shade undetectable by human eyes.  
"I meant come spar with me" Jasper laughed at the smaller gems consternation "I figure I should know the capabilities of any gems under my command"  
"W-well actually, as mission overseer I am…" Peridot tried to assert themselves, their voice quailing a lot more than they would have liked.  
Jasper simply silenced them with a raised eyebrow, their smile taking on a slight leer "come along green" they gave Peridots wrist a slight tug before letting go and turning to start walking away.  
"Yes Sir" Peridot replied quietly, following Jasper and surreptitiously wiping off a small amount of drool.

As they walked, Jasper striding along casually and Peridot jogging slightly to keep up. Jasper resumed eating the strange Blue goop.  
"I meant to ask you before" Peridot puffed "what is that stuff? You know, before when you threw up, it was everywhere"  
Jasper looked at Peridot disapprovingly  
"umm, sorry about that. Again" Peridot fidgeted awkwardly "But I thought eating was like, an alien thing?"  
Jasper shook their head, looking slightly amused "You pick up bad habits when you spend too long around other cultures… When you can't crush them immediately than is" their sharklike grin spread across their face "but this is a gem invention, it's a strengthening solution, hardens your gem and helps to tighten the resonance structures of your body." They paused to take another few mouthfuls of the substance "also makes it harder for destabilisers to affect you"  
"Why would that be a problem?" Peridot looked surprised "the destabiliser is a gem weapon, Homeworld controls their distribution tightly"  
Jasper simply shrugged slightly "Always be prepared. You never know when someone will try to stab you in the back"

Jasper was silent for the rest of the walk to the training room and something about their expression, slightly sad and nostalgic, made Peridot hold in the questions that were buzzing through their head.

When they arrived at the large open room Jasper threw off their loose fitting robe, tossing it into the corner along with the small cup.  
Peridot bit their lip slightly, staring at the sealing tape still covering Jaspers injured chest "Are you sure you want to spare? You're still injured I mean…" Peridot trailed off, trying to copy the stretches jasper had begun doing.  
They paused briefly to chuckle "you worried about hurting me Green?"

"No, I mean, yes?" Peridot struggled not to fall over as jasper dropped into a full splits.  
"I appreciate your pluck, but I think you should be more worried about looking after yourself"  
"I didn't mean" Peridot pulled a frustrated face  
"It's okay" Jasper smiled reassuringly "Never imagine that you could lose to your opponent. It only gives them strength"

While Peridot tried to figure out if that advice was profound or just stupid Jasper finished up their stretches. They turned to face Peridot and snapped their fingers to reclaim their attention.  
"Focus. Now, draw your weapon."

Peridot nervously tried to assume a combat posture and drew their Gem Disruptor.  
"No, No" Jasper shook their head "Your _weapon_, you can't always rely on tools"  
"Oh, right, sorry" Peridot put the Disruptor away and closed their eyes, focusing.  
The last time they summoned their weapon was back when they had had compulsory combat training before becoming an Overseer.  
A few seconds later Peridots gem began to glow brilliantly, the light swelling forth until a small green ball materialised floating in front of them.

Peridot smiled contentedly and was rather disappointed to see the look of confusion on Jaspers face. "What's that?" Jasper pointed at the ball.  
"It's my Orb, it's a weapon"  
"Are you sure?" Jasper looked dubious, scratching their forehead  
"Yes!" Peridot was starting to feel a bit insulted.  
Jasper shrugged non-committedly "Well, alright then. You young gems sure have some weird stuff…"  
Peridot glowered, the orb beginning to orbit slowly around their head.

Jasper grinned broadly "Oh, come on Green. Just show me what you can do" they dropped into a defensive position "I won't attack you until you managed to hit me".

Peridot took a deep breath and tried to remember their Katas.  
They pulled back their arms, gathering force and then pushed forwards, sending their orb hurtling towards Jaspers head.  
The beefy gem instantly stepped into the attack, head-butting the orb back at Peridot so fast they had to duck to avoid it.  
"Too slow. Faster!" Jasper returned to their defensive crouch.  
Peridot grunted quietly with effort, dropping to one knee and spinning around to curve the orb back towards Jasper, conserving its momentum as much as possible

This time Jasper blocked the attack with a raised elbow, sending it careening off behind them "better."  
Peridot quickly stepped back into the rote learned pattern, swinging their arms to send the orb swinging in from the other side, then after Jasper deflected it again, stepping forwards and sweeping their arms up launching an upwards strike at Jaspers chin.  
The orb struck air, Jasper back stepping casually out of the way "Your attacks are too predictable. Stop trying to follow someone else's idea of how you should fight and find your own rhythm.

'How am I supposed to do that with you shouting at me?' Peridot thought angrily.  
They jumped forwards again, sweeping their arms up low, skimming the orb along the ground towards Jaspers feet.  
At the last second they pulled back, thrusting their elbows upwards and sending the orb jinking straight up at Jaspers stomach.  
Caught off balance as they were already moving one leg to avoid the attack Jasper kicked backwards, moving their leg to block the orb with their shin. There was a loud bang as the orb slammed into then and ricochet away.  
"Nice work! Much better." Jasper landed in a crouch, rubbing the small bruise on their shin lightly.  
"I'm going to start moving now."

Peridot blanched slightly "Wait wha-"  
But Jasper was already leaping at them in an orange blur, covering the distance between them before Peridot could speak. In a panic they dived to the side, rolling into a crouch and completing the motion (slightly less gracefully than they would have liked) by flailing blindly behind them.  
The orb buzzed through the air towards where they had been standing but Jasper had already moved again, vanishing from sight.  
"You are dead" Jasper said sternly 'Resting a hand on Peridots head "never lose sight of your opponent"

Peridot flopped back top lie on the floor, groaning loudly "You're too fast! I can't keep up with that"  
"You have a ranged weapon" Jasper walked over to where the orb was floating and plucked it out of the air "Aim where I'm going to be, not where I am"  
"heh, heh…" Peridot tried to stifle a giggle  
"What's so funny?"  
"Oh, nothing. Have you ever played…? Never mind, you probably haven't" Peridot waved their hand dismissively, desummoning the orb.

Jasper regarded Peridot for a few seconds before moving to crouch down next to them, leaning over them slightly. "Well, why don't you tell me what you were so worked up about before then"  
'Oh no, too close!' Peridot thought nervously, staring up at Jaspers taught muscles "It was Lapis" they blurted out 'Fuck'  
"You were talking to them without me?" Jasper frowned  
"I-I thought they would respond better to questioning without… you know, you"  
"Hamm, fair enough" Jasper straightened up "But you should have informed me first"  
Peridot grumbled something about being in charge. Very quietly.

"Anyway, you need practice" Jasper started walking towards the door, either not hearing or not caring "Begin target practice, maximum speed" a small swarm of floating pyramids about the size of Peridots head extruded out of the ceiling and began whizzing around the room.  
"And lock room until all targets have been destroyed. Security Override J45B40"  
"Wait, WHAT?!" Peridot sat up with a start as the door slammed shut behind Jasper.

Outside the room they chuckled to themselves as muffled shouts emanated from behind the locked door. Then their face fell dark.  
"Now for Lapis."


	3. Chapter 3

Jasper slammed their fist into the wall next to Lapis' cell, leaving a visible dent and waking the meditating Lapis from their repose.  
"What did you say to Peridot!?"  
"What?" Lapis jumped to their feet, stumbling and slipping back to the ground "n-nothing"  
Collecting themselves they took a deep breath, crossing their arms defiantly "They were trying to 'interrogate' me"  
Jasper growled softly, eyes narrowing "You are my prisoner. You should understand what that means."  
Lapis snorted "I've been-"  
"I OWN YOU!" Jasper bellowed making Lapis tremble slightly "IF YOU EVER WANT TO BE FREE AGAIN YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT!" They breathed heavily, staring at Lapis with burning rage.  
"You can't threaten me" Lapis stood, their voice catching slightly.

"I don't like you Lapis" Jasper spoke softly, turning their back to the cell "You may not remember me. But the names and faces of every gem we lost on Earth are seared into my memory. I can never forget the things we did there… And when I heard someone had returned…" Jasper leant against the wall, their fingers digging into the metal "I was so… Happy? Finally someone I could talk to! Someone who would understand what we had to do!" They paused for a few seconds, quieting down to barely a whisper "Do you know how many gems came back from Earth?"  
"No. I mean, I didn't see much after… after it happened" Lapis looked down at their hands  
"Not many. And most of them didn't hang around. They left for distant worlds, to travel, to fight… or to die. I'm the only veteran left on Homeworld" Jasper fell silent.

"I understand" Lapis moved closer to the door of the cell, reaching out towards Jasper "I-"  
"SHUT UP!" Jasper screamed, turning to face Lapis, tears in their eyes "It wasn't any of them, it was you! A coward and a traitor! You said you 'didn't understand' our Home, you who should understand better than anyone what we have sacrificed to build this world, what we lost in order to stay strong!"  
Lapis stared at them in shock, they didn't realise the brutish gem was even capable of such emotion.

Jaspers eyes narrowed and their voice dropped to a venomous hiss "and that's why, if you betray us again, I will crush you. If you are anything less than helpful during this mission I. WILL. CRUSH! YOU! And if you do anything to Peridot" Jasper breathed heavily bringing their face as close to the cell as possible, making Lapis step back "I will make you suffer."  
Jasper hung their head for a few seconds before growling huskily "You didn't deserve to survive. A lot of good gems were broken on Earth. You should have stayed there." Jasper pushed themselves back upright and stormed away as Lapis tried to find their voice, sliding down the back wall to hug their knees against their chest.


	4. Chapter 4

Jasper was lying on their bunk, casually dressed in their loose training garb. Trying to force back down all the unpleasant memories their conversation with Lapis stirred up. It had been a few hours but still the flashes persisted, tastes and smells rushing back with the all too vivid images to throw them right back into the thick of it.  
Sweat beaded their brow and their arms twitched involuntarily as they tried to focus on calmer thoughts.  
Suddenly the door slammed open and Peridot burst in, looking slightly bruised and very exhausted "YOU FAULTY, MUS-"  
Before Jasper even knew what they were doing they had Peridot pinned against the wall, one hand hefting them off the floor by their neck, the other drawn back into a fist  
"eeep" Peridot went limp, their eyes wide in shock  
"ahhh… sorry" Jasper carefully lowered Peridot to the ground, steadying them as their knees buckled slightly "I thought I told you not to disturb me?" Jasper turned away quickly so that Peridot didn't see the distressed look on their face.

Peridot took a deep breath, massaging their throat gently "Well, considering the last time one of us disturbed the other it was you tearing my door off, I think I deserve it"  
Jasper smiled, the small gem was a welcome distraction  
"Furthermore, YOU TRAPPED ME IN A ROOM WITH A SWARM OF ANGRY POLYHEDRONS!"  
This time Jasper didn't bother to stifle their laughter, turning around to face the exasperated gem  
Peridot was momentarily startled by the look of genuine happiness on Jaspers face but quickly recovered "I'd be beating you up right now if I could lift my arms"

"So you think you'll be able to hit me next time?" Jasper sat back down on their bunk, stretching their arms up behind their head.  
"Oh yeah, at least one I'd say. Hopefully somewhere painful"  
"Good, good" Jasper closed their eyes "That means I get to hit you back don't forget"  
Peridot didn't reply, noticing that Jasper had taken off the tape around their chest. The cracks no longer had gaps in them but they were still deep and quite visible. They shuffled surreptitiously closer to try and get a better look.  
Jasper opened one eye and regarded the other gem, frustration and concern now mixed on their face "Can I help you?" a lazy smile still on their face  
"Are you sure you won't let me help you? Or are you still going to be all stubborn?"  
Jasper groaned "I admit I may have done slightly more damage to myself than I thought"  
"Well congratulations moron. Now are you going let me fix you or what?"  
"Watch your language Green" Jaspers grin widened "I can only let you get away with so much"  
Peridots own grin spread across their face. A slightly lecherous look in their eyes as they held up one hand, summoning a Robonoid into it "I'll take that as a yes. Now lie down"

"Oh no" Jasper held up a hand "I am not letting that thing scuttle all over me"  
"Well then I'll do it" Peridot tried to contain their enthusiasm as they shifted their fingers into, wider, flatter shapes. The Robonoid popped its hatch open and dispensed a dollop of the sparkly repair cream into Peridots hand.  
Jasper lay back down, looking quite at ease as Peridot moved over next to the bunk and began spreading the cream across their stomach, carefully following the lines of the cracks marring the large gems sculpted abs.  
Peridot took their time, gently massaging as best as their dating sims had taught them. Lingering possibly a little too long on the deep v shaped furrow just below Jaspers waist and stretching up slightly higher than the cracks reached, their face deepening into a glowing complexion as their fingers moved up underneath Jaspers tanktop, brushing against the base of their pecs.

As Peridot finally finished the left side of Jaspers chest, getting another handful of cream from the Robonoid now perched on their shoulder, they paused "Ummmmm, Jasper… I don't think I can reach… the rest".  
They stood up onto their tiptoes, stretching as far as they could and only reaching a little past the centre of the muscular gems chest.  
"Well, good thing I don't mind having you scuttle all over me then" Jasper reached over and picked Peridot up easily, lifting them up and setting them down, straddling the reclining gems waist.

"Ahhhhhhhh… heh" Peridots eyes went blank, their brain processing this newest development.  
Jasper just leaned back and closed their eyes "Come on Green, I didn't say stop"  
Peridot exhaled deeply, supporting themselves with a hand on Jaspers hip as they leant forwards to continue their task.  
After quite a while, Peridot had gone over every contour of their abs about as much as they could justify, Jaspers stomach was well covered with a thick layer of cream.  
"So, how long does this stuff take to work?" Jasper asked, a lot more warmly than usual.  
"Well, on living gems, a few hours. But then you'll be good as new!" Peridot started to lean to one side, preparing to dismount when Jasper placed a hand on their thigh. Peridot stopped immediately, a shiver running up their entire body.

"Those things are pretty useful after all aren't they?" Jasper smiled at Peridot, holding up their other hand to their shoulder, allowing the small Robonoid to hop onto their palm "It reminds me of a… friend I once had. They could summon Gemlets as well." They ran their hand up Peridots thigh, almost encircling the tiny gems waist "You even have their colour… such a beautiful green" Jaspers eyes were filled with nostalgia and sorrow.

Peridot tried, mostly successfully, to stop their hands from shaking as they placed them on Jaspers shoulders. Pulling themselves forwards, sliding easily on the cream, to move up onto the top of Jaspers abs, bringing them face to face. 'Okay' they thought 'this is it. Just say the line. Stay cool'  
Peridot leant forwards, wrapping their arms around Jaspers neck as they moved in, lips inches from theirs "I do know one thing that would work faster"

"Is that so?" Jasper reached up to lift Peridots goggles  
"Fuse with me" Peridot whispered  
A shattering pop broke the quiet as the Robonoid in Jaspers hand was crushed, leaking fluid down their arm "No." they said instantly, turning their face away from Peridots'.  
"What? Buh-Why?" Peridot leant back, a shocked look on their face  
"Fusion, it's weak. "Jasper mumbled, not meeting Peridots eyes "Just a cheap-"  
"This isn't about strength!" Peridot shouted, a hurt look on their face "and… and I'm not cheap!"  
"Everything is about strength" Jasper replied coldly, still looking away

"Well…" Peridot slapped Jaspers hand away. Shaking with conflicting emotions "Fine then!"  
They stood up and jumped down from the bunk, turning back to Jasper to say something but not managing anything more than a strangled shout.  
With that they dashed out of the room, coving their face with their hands.  
Jasper sighed heavily, speaking softly to themselves "That was stupid… They're too young for you anyway. That just proved it…"

Peridot ran through the hallways, not really paying attention to where they were going. Not realising until they were quite close that they had headed towards Lapis' cell. 'Good' they thought, drying their face on their sleeve. They needed someone to shout at.


	5. Chapter 5

Lapis was curled up in a ball in the corner of their cell. They weren't sure how to feel about Jasper and their accusations. It wasn't really their fault, everything that happened. Everyone trusted Rose Quartz, their betrayal had been unthinkable and Lapis could have ended it immediately if the warriors hadn't been such idiots. It was their fault, really.  
They had failed completely and their deaths were their own fault.  
But their fate was Yellow diamonds. They were glad Jasper didn't know about that.  
Lapis stared hollowly at the wall.

They perked up as they heard the angry footfalls echoing down the hall. Far too light to be Jasper.  
Lapis rolled over into a sitting position, dusting themselves off.  
Their eyes brightened even more as the footsteps stopped just outside their field of view.  
Lapis strained to listen carefully as they arranged themselves into a nonchalant posture, was that laboured breathing? It sounded like Peridot was coming in even less prepared than last time.  
When they finally walked into view Lapis smiled. Their hair was ruffled and the red circles around their eyes made it clear they had been crying. It looked like the foolish gem was to be a welcome distraction. Lapis settled back as Peridot began their tirade.

"Alright you worthless pile of organic waste matter! I have had enough of your treacherous non-compliance! You said that you would tell me everything you knew about the 'Earth' and I demand, no I order! You to tell me immediately or I will be forced to-"  
"PHBBBBBBBBBBT!" Peridot was cut off by the loud, wet sounding raspberry.  
"What? Don-"  
"PHBBBBBBBBBBT!" Lapis regarded Peridot amusedly  
"You will refrain from-"  
PHBBBBBBBBBBBT!"

Peridot flailed their fists helplessly "SHUT UP!"  
"Or what?" Lapis lounged on the floor casually "you'll get big bad Jasper to come and shout at me for you again?"  
"What? I didn't… You spoke to Jasper?" Peridot froze, suddenly looking worried  
"If by spoke you mean got screamed at? Yes. And you're lucky I didn't spill all of your pathetic little secrets"  
"Thanks. I think" Peridot looked away awkwardly, Lapis effectively disarming their flash of anger.  
"You're welcome" lapis replied blithely "I guess you have to have someone on this ship you can trust"  
"It's not like that"  
"pffft" Lapis snorted "You really think you're in charge here. If you knew all the things they aren't telling you..."  
"Then tell me!" Peridot stamped their foot in frustration

Lapis rolled over onto their stomach, resting their chin on their hands "nope. That's no fun. Why don't you tell me what's got you so worked up instead?"  
"None off your business!" Peridots cheeks flushed  
Lapis just stared at them silently, wiggling their feet.  
It didn't take long for Peridot to crack, throwing up their hands "Okay, fine! It's Jasper. They… didn'twanttofusewithme"  
"What?"  
"I said they didn't want to fuse with me" Peridot looked at their feet, squirming awkwardly.

Lapis held in giggles for a second before breaking out into peals of laughter  
"Shut up!" Peridots face was now positively glowing red "You don't understand, they were being all romantic and they told me I looked beautiful but then they just shut me down completely!"  
Lapis laughter intensified "You are, such a child! A stupid, naive, child"  
"No! It's not like that!" Tears started to well in Peridots eyes, the flood gates threatening to reopen. "They just… they just don't do fusion that's all"

Lapis laughter stopped instantly. Peridot nearly falling over as the sleight blue gem threw themselves forwards, almost pressing up against the containment field. A mischievous grin gracing their face.  
"Is that what they told you?"  
"Well, not precisely but-"  
"Oh-kay!" said Lapis in a sing-song voice, twirling around and clapping their hands happily "New choice! Either I tell you all about the Earth and its dirty secrets orrrrrrrr… I _show_ you that Jasper lied to you"

Peridot stared at Lapis incredulously for a few seconds "What? You… What! How can you… Aaaaaaarrrgh!" Peridot tore at their hair in frustration "Fine! Tell me about Jasper then..."  
Lapis smiled "I thought so. Now…" They looked down for a second their gem illuminating the cell behind them with a bright glow. When they looked back up their eyes were as flat and reflective as a mirror "look into my eyes"  
Peridot couldn't have looked away if they wanted to, feeling themselves tipping forwards as Lapis eyes seemed to grow, expanding to fill their view. Their reflection tumbling towards them as they plummeted into the silver lake. Just before they could break the surface, everything went dark.

When Peridot opened their eyes they were sitting at some kind of desk, stacks of paper in front of them, covered in dense writing.  
[Is that organic matter?] Peridots voice echoed strangely in their head  
[It's called paper, easy to make on Earth. We used it for records and filing]] Lapis voice echoed back  
[What is this? What did you do?] Peridot asked nervously as their head swung around involuntarily to look at the door of the small gem hut they appeared to be sitting in.  
[[You're in my memories idiot. Now pay attention]  
"Enter" Lapis voice rang out, Peridot feeling their mouth make the sounds as Lapis voice also echoed over inside their head. It was all very confusing.

The door slid open and a tall Gem ducked into the room. They were easily 8 feet tall, wearing only a baggy pair of camo print pants, showing off their extremely dense musculature. Their skin was a stunning mix of green, orange and red stripes and a huge mane of flowing white hair reached all the way down to their knees, drawn back into a high ponytail.  
It was their face that interested Peridot the most, at the same time familiar and unknown, Jaspers gem in place of a nose and a large, green, eye-like gem where their left eye should be.

[Is that?] Peridot started to ask.  
[Yep!] Lapis chimed in instantly [[Jasper and Chalcedony. They were inseparable, literally]]  
"Ah, Captain Carnelian. How did the recon of the Northern continent go" Past Lapis spoke in an exceedingly bored tone of voice.  
"Excellent!" Carnelian boomed, Peridot could feel the vibrations in their, Lapis? Chest.  
Two large, insectoid creatures trotted in through the door, one of then rubbing their head affectionately against the imposing fusions leg, the other, lapping at the huge, serrated sword that Peridot only now noticed Carnelian was dragging behind them, its surface was covered with clotted chunks of red blood. Some sort of acidic liquid dripped from the creatures jaws but it didn't seem to bother the huge gem.  
"There are multiple favourable Kindergarten sites and lots of Organics. Or at least there were" Carnelian chuckled, reaching down to scratch the creature behind its mane, quite reminiscent of their own hair.  
"No! No!" Peridot felt their arms wave frantically in front of them as Lapis talked "leave those things outside, they ruin the floors! And you know we were told to leave the Organics alone"

Carnelian frowned, letting out a sharp growl that made the creatures raise their heads and then quickly trot back outside. They then walked closer to Lapis, already towering over the seated gem, dragging their sword behind them. Scraping it along the floor with a teeth shattering shriek.  
Once they had crossed the floor they lifted up the sword, stabbing it into the floor with a loud crack and leaning on it casually.  
"I know. I just don't see why. I also don't see why we haven't actually started any more kindergartens yet. We've already been here for far too long"  
Lapis looked down to regard the ruined floor dejectedly. Sighing dramatically before replying "I don't like it either but that's just orders, this is a big project, I guess they want to do it right. And please, stop slaughtering the Organics, I have to file reports"

The vision started to fade, everything once again going black.  
[So. Speechless with anguish?] Lapis voice echoed in the dark  
[Mixed emotions… Honestly, I'm kind of distracted by how hot they were]  
[URGH, you are hopeless. Well, how would you like to see how they treated their 'friend'?]  
[Is this going to be sexy?] Peridot asked half-jokingly  
[I guess that depends on how you find… Betrayal!] Lapis replied dramatically, as they spoke, images burst forth before Peridots eyes.

With the sensation of sight came a feeling of complete paralysis, not the same lack of control as before but complete restriction. Peridot only narrowly avoided the rising wave of anxiety as the realisation of what it was they were looking at hit them just as hard.  
This viewpoint seemed to be from a low hill, overlooking a huge battlefield, discarded weapons were everywhere and gem shards covered the fields like grass.  
Arrayed against them was a ragged collection of Gems, apparently in a state of retreat. They quickly spotted Carnelian, standing at the front of the fractured army. They looked like they were shouting orders, waving Gems back, a small horde of the creatures they saw before standing around them.

Peridot would have jumped, if the vice like grip that held their body would allow it, as a voice suddenly boomed forth. It was feminine but strong, the voice of a queen or an empress "This is over!" The voice carried across the fields "All of you, leave Earth now and you will be spared!"  
[who?-] Peridot started  
[shush, listen] Lapis quickly silenced them  
"We are the Crystal Gems and Earth is under our protection!"  
A great cheer came up from somewhere behind what Peridot could see.

Then, a second boom made everything vibrate, this one Peridot recognised immediately. A ship entering atmosphere too fast.  
When their vision stabilised Peridot saw that the sky was now filled with a gigantic yellow diamond, hanging in the sky like a second sun.  
"No, they wouldn't dare…" The voice spoke again, this time a worried whisper.  
Conversely the Gems standing down in opposition of what Peridot supposed with apparently 'their side', were celebrating, some jumping into the air and cheering, others turning back from their retreat and starting to rush back towards the hill.  
Carnelian they noticed, stood silently, raising their sword in salute.

The giant diamond began to glow, a sickly yellow light focusing along its edges and gathering in the centre. The charge of the opposing gems slowed, some of them looking in confusion.  
"Everyone, get behind me! Hurry!" The voice rang out, fearful but defiant and Peridot could hear the sound of many Gems moving at once.  
Carnelian was waving their sword in the air, shouting commands once more as they picked up smaller Gems, throwing them away from the battlefield.  
Peridots stomach sank as they realised what they were saying  
"Run! Run for your lives!"

The light was becoming unbearable, Peridot could feel their strength draining away a deadening numbness settling over their mind like a fog.  
Then, with a beautiful chiming sound a pink barring burst forth in front of them, spreading to cover their vision, it looked kind of like a shield, delicate thorn patterns spiralling around it.  
Through the semi-translucent barrier Peridot could only just see Carnelian. They dropped their sword, clutching their head as it warped and distorted, they were unfusing, Peridot realised as their body broke down into a bright glow.

Then, a blinding yellow light blanketed everything, whiting out Peridots vision completely.  
As the searing light started to clear they realised that their ears were ringing, some noise having deafened them before they could even hear it.  
The pink barrier was gone and they were facing up towards the sky. The giant Yellow Diamond still hanging there, now silent and static.  
[Lapis… what happened?] Peridot thought groggily  
Lapis didn't reply as their view rocked back and forth, slowly straightening up, allowing Peridot to see the devastation before them.  
Everything froze, suspended in time [There] Lapis voice carrying a distinctly satisfied air [[look]]

The fields before them was covered in bodies, not gems, but bodies.  
[I don't understand] Peridot was confused, but then they saw Jasper, midway through standing up, leaning on the body of the large green gem motionless in front of them.  
[They used them as a shield] Lapis barely contained glee echoed in Peridots head  
[No, they wouldn't… Show me more!]  
[Nope! You're all out of answers! Just accept it, they don't care about anyone] Lapis giggled as their vision started to fade away.  
As the disturbing vision faded to darkness Peridot wasn't sure if it was intentional or not but the last thing they saw was Jasper, a tiny spot of light amid the blackness, their hair obscuring their face.  
[NO! JUST LET ME SEE-] Peridot shouted, trying to hang onto the vision.

"-I have to-" Peridot fell to the ground as feeling returned to their body.  
They groaned groggily, lying on the hard floor. It's solidity a welcome signifier of reality.  
Slowly they became aware of a strange vibration running down their arm, opening their eyes they saw that they had fallen forwards, their hand passing into the containment barrier of the cell.  
They regarded it foggily, the glowing lines rushing down towards their elbow.  
Then the pain hit them.

Peridot screamed, rolling away as fast as they could. Their forearm flickering and glitching like a broken hologram.  
Tears flooded down their face as they hugged their arm to their chest, cracks now seared into it like a delicate tracery. It was worse than anything they had ever experienced, they half expected to just involuntarily retreat into their gem but there was no such solace.  
Once they had recovered enough to open their eyes without it feeling like someone was jamming knives into them, Peridot looked up at Lapis.  
They were sitting cross-legged, regarding Peridot intensely.

"You know you're kind of cute, all curled up and pathetic like that" Lapis grinned in a way that momentarily reminded them of Jasper. It wasn't pleasant.  
"Go… Jump… in the ocean" Peridot gasped for air, trying to focus some of their pain into anger but only getting exhaustion.  
Lapis just laughed at them "Well, Earth does have lots of Ocean. That's why I was sent there after all."  
"Just show me what happened after, I need to see what they did" Peridot tried to force the weakness out of their voice, steadying their breath.  
"Hmmmmm…" Lapis stroked their chin, looking up at the ceiling "Beg"  
"Please! I need to know what happened!" Peridot struggled to their knees, bowing their head

"NOPE!" Lapis feel back, holding their stomach and laughing "Ahhhhh… I'm tired now, maybe if you're lucky I might give you some more questions later"  
"WHAT?" Peridot glared at them "Gems don't need to sleep you ass!"  
Lapis shrugged "There's not much else to do when you're trapped in a mirror. Besides, it's fun. Making you wait that is." With that Lapis lay back and closed their eyes, a broad grin on their face.

"No! You can't do that!" Peridot shouted. Lapis just let out a loud snore.  
"Argh!" Peridot slammed their fist on the floor, letting out another, even louder scream as pain shot up it sending white sparks bursting across their vision.  
Lapis let out a long, drawn out snore, louder than the last one.

Peridot picked themselves up and straightened their goggles with their good wand, clutching the other close to their chest. "Stupid, vague, goblin" they muttered, turning and walking unsteadily back towards their quarters.


	6. Chapter 6

Peridot lay on their bunk trying to summon a Robonoid but the pain made it too hard to concentrate.  
They were just about to give up when there was a small knock on the door.  
Peridot looked over in surprise as the door was gently lifted out of the way, still hanging off its runners. Jasper was standing behind it.  
"Hey" they stand there slightly awkwardly.  
"Hey" Peridot glared at them.  
"I heard shouting and… well I can go if you want me to"  
"No. It's okay" they looked at each other awkwardly for a little while "I'm sorry for before" Peridot blurted out "I've just never really had anyone say no to me before…"  
"It's okay, it's my fault" Jasper scratches their head, slowly walking into the room. "Look, there's stuff about me-"  
Peridot raises their hand "It's okay, you don't have to explain." They sigh heavily "I'm trying to be 'mature' about this."

Jasper doesn't reply, rushing forwards to kneel next to the bunk and reaching out to gently take Peridots hand "What happened to you?" their eyes narrow "Lapis." Jasper growled deeply, starting to stand as Peridot grabbed their wrist, wincing at the pain in their fingers.  
"No, no I just fell that's all"  
Jasper looked at Peridot disbelievingly "You fell? Come on, I know you're fragile but…"  
Peridot looked down awkwardly "I fell into the containment field"  
Jasper shook their head, smiling slightly "I don't want to you to keep talking to Lapis, before you get even more hurt"  
"I told you, it wasn't their fault, I just fell"

Jasper looked at Peridot disapprovingly "Alright. Just summon one of your little balls and fix yourself up. No point in lying there feeling sorry"  
Peridot groaned "I can't, it's too hard to focus"  
Jasper sighed "You really are useless aren't you?" they cupped Peridots injured hand in both of their own "Okay, first of all. Remember, your body is just an expression and pain is just your way of telling your gem that something isn't working properly."

Peridot nodded, biting down on their lip and closing their eyes.  
"Now" Jasper continued "Picture what you are trying to create in your head, feel it, hear the sounds it makes as it walks. See what it sees when it looks up at you, feel that connection. Remember, it isn't a part of you, but it isn't separate either." Peridot could hear a hint of emotion creeping into Jaspers voice as they concentrated on their words "When you are ready, release it. Let its form well up in your gem and then let it be born." Peridots gem was beginning to glow brightly "it exists on your energy but outside of your body, feel that pathway, the conduit you send to it. It is the thread of emotion that binds it to you, carrying your very essence with it"

The glow of Peridots gem intensified, a large sphere taking shape in front of them, solidifying as the light faded away and dropping down to land on their chest. The newly formed Robonoid whistled happily as Peridot opened their eyes "That was amazing Jasper how-"Peridot stopped themselves as they looked at Jasper in shock, tears leaking from the large gems eyes.  
"Are you okay?" Peridot asked in concern  
"Of course" Jasper looked at them in surprise  
"but, you're crying"  
"What?" Jasper put a hand to their cheek, feeling the warm tears "huh…"  
They let go of Peridots hand, standing up quickly and wiping their face "Well, I'm done here. Get well soon Green" they said, striding out of the room, ignoring Peridots cries of protest  
"Wait, you don't have to go…" Peridot groaned, flopping back down onto the bunk, the pain in their hand returning along with a cold, wet feeling.

Peridot looked down at their arm in surprise to see the Robonoid crawling over it, spraying its repair substance liberally.  
"I didn't give you any orders?" Peridot asked the little device musingly.  
The Robonoid whistled happily again. They didn't usually do that.  
Peridot had to admit that that had been pretty amazing, they usually just called up the Robonoids with the help of their screen, channelling the energy through their technological enhancements but feeling it grow inside them like that... That was definitely an experience. They absentmindedly patted the Robonoid with their other hand as it finished its task and scuttled over to plop itself down on their lap.

There wasn't any point in wondering where Jasper learnt to do that. Peridot thought of Carnelian and the mysterious Chalcedony. Standing defiantly on the battlefield with their host of centipede, beetle, dog things…  
This just made Peridot even more determined to find out what had really happened, they couldn't have betrayed Chalcedony, not after sharing something like what Peridot had just experienced.  
"Peridots just fucking with me" they muttered to themselves. To their surprise the Robonoid gave off an assertive chirp.  
"I really need to scan you properly don't I?" Peridot regarded the small sphere closely, reaching out to scratch under one of its little legs, causing it to flop over onto its back and wave its legs around excitedly.

Peridot drew back in surprise, mentally chastising themselves for being so soft "You're probably just malfunctioning" they said, quickly pulling up their screen and beginning the diagnostics check. The pain in their slowly healing arm completely forgotten in the wake of these strange new developments.

Crows note

In response to the reviewer who asked about the use of gender neutral pronouns I know that the gems are generally shown to use She/Her/Hers pronouns I always had a little headcannon that that was something the Crystal Gems adopted in response to Earth culture and therefore the homeworld gems don't. Lapis could be an exception, no doubt having been exposed to plenty of Earth culture over time but I figure even if they did they probably wouldn't bother around other Homeworld.  
Anyway, the tl;dr; or it is that its just a stylistic choice I made for this fanfic, partly to see how it would be to write a story using as little gendered language as possible (luckily I'm not French)  
Thanks for reading


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Peridots arm had healed they had run about a dozen subsequent diagnostics on Alpha, as they had found themselves affectionately referring to the small Robonoid.  
And all of them seemed to show the same thing, it was operating on at least 200% power and despite showing heightened levels of independent decision-making and problem solving was functioning perfectly.  
By far the strangest behaviour though was the way it seemed to act 'affectionately' towards Peridot. Sitting next to their injured arm or on their lap, humming softly and butting playfully against their feet.  
All of the Robonoids displayed pseudo-sapience, it was part of their programming but this was different and Peridot found it endearing in a way that the other Robonoids, with their hollow, programmed behaviours never could be.

When they finally left their room Alpha crawled up onto their shoulder and perched there, whistling happily as they walked through the ship.  
They didn't really have much of an idea where to go to be honest. They wanted to talk to Jasper, to unload some of the burning questions lodged in their breast but they weren't sure how Jasper would feel about Peridots invasion into their past and their privacy.

Despite their reservations they still found their feet carrying them towards the training room from which the sounds of heavy impacts resounded out the open door and down the hall.  
Peridot peeped around the corner to see Jasper laying into a large punching bag, their thick back muscles rippling as they swayed from side to side, sending the heavy bag jumping around like a leaf caught in the wind. Peridot continued to watch the large Gems almost hypnotic swaying until they suddenly spun around, tearing the punching back free from the ceiling and sending it flying across the room with an arching heel kick. Peridot ducked back behind the doorway, peeking back out when they thought it was safe to see Jasper, still with their back to them, flex, sending the flecks of sweat coating their arms and chest flying off in a rain of sparkles.

Peridot bit down heavily on their lip, trying very hard not to make a sound.  
"Are you just going to stand there?" Jasper called out, still not turning around  
Peridot blushed, drawing back to press themselves up against the wall "Ummm, I was just doing a… door check" they called back lamely, trying to sound nonchalant. They rapped their fingers against the frame of the door "yep. Door. It's all good."  
Jasper stuck their head around the door and grinned at Peridot, clearly amused "uh huh. So how's your arm?"

"it's fine" Peridot said quickly, swallowing loudly  
"yeah, that stuff of yours is pretty handy after all" Jasper patted their bare stomach, no sign of the crack that previously marred it  
On Peridots shoulder Alpha whistled happily, rubbing up against Peridots face  
Jaspers grin widened as they reached out to pet the little Robonoid, happiness sparkling in their eyes as it started humming pleasantly  
"I thought you didn't like them?" Peridot asked, confused at their sudden change of heart

Jasper just shrugged slightly "This one's different, it's more you"  
Peridot blushed even more, shuffling slightly awkwardly "So, are you ever not training?"  
"Eh, I just prefer moving to thinking. It's easier" Jasper looks pensive for a second but then quickly flashes a broad smile "So, now that you're fixed up, want to try and spar again?"  
"Oh, um, yeah sure" Peridot was surprised at the sudden offer, it felt kind of like they were just ignoring the awkward situation that had occurred in Jaspers quarters. They were kind of glad about it though, maybe this meant that they were giving them a second chance?

Jasper walked back into the centre of the room and gestured to Peridot "Come on then, let's see if you still need more target practice"  
Peridot breathed deeply, centring themselves and summoning their weapon while moving into the room.  
They picked up a bit of speed, running at Jasper and flicking their wrist, sending the Orb spiralling towards Jaspers head. The large gem dodged it gracefully, hopping backwards in a zig zag pattern as Peridot tried to chase them with the Orb, doing their best to aim ahead but Jasper was just too light on their feet, changing direction, ducking and rolling on a dime.  
Then Alpha peeped loudly and an idea popped into their head, sliding the Robonoid down their arm they spun, flinging the Orb at Jasper and following it up with Alpha, whistling loudly as it flew through the air.

"Throwing your pets at me now? Seems a bit desperate?" Jasper teased as both of the projectiles flew harmlessly past.  
Peridot just gritted their teeth, flicking their arms to send the Orb high into the air.  
Jaspers head tilted back, following the soaring projectile as Alpha landed behind them, spinning around and skidding across the floor back towards Jaspers feet, launching themselves into the large Gems ankle as they shifted their weight in preparation of avoiding the Orb.

A look of confusion crossed Jaspers face as their foot flew out from underneath them, Peridot leaping into the air and swinging both of their hands downwards, sending the Orb rocketing downwards towards the large Gem, now falling backwards. The Orb impacted with their chest mid fall, sending them slamming down into the ground with a crash. Dust flying up around them as the floor cracked under their weight.  
Peridot pumped their fist in celebration "YES! Eat that!"  
Their triumphant grin began to fade as they didn't see any movement from the small dust cloud.

Peridot rushed over, Alpha jumping up onto their leg as they passed them, looking down into the small crater "Jasper! Are you o-"  
Jasper was lying on the ground, a stupid grin plastered across their face, the orb sitting on top of their stomach, no physical damage apparent.  
"That was brilliant!" Jasper leapt to their feet, wrapping their arm around Peridots shoulders and ruffling their hair "great work Green!"  
"Yep, okay, thanks" Peridot struggled out of their grasp, quickly neatening their hair back into its neat diamond, scowling at Jasper slightly, annoyed that they had been so quick to worry.

Jasper laughed, rolling their head around, cracking their neck and rubbing their stomach slightly.  
"That was some great thinking, I didn't expect that at all!"  
"Thanks…." Peridot scrunched up their nose, trying to figure out if that was a compliment or not.  
"But you know what this means?" Jaspers sharp teeth gleamed  
"Ummm… I won?"  
"Now I get to hit back"  
"Oh… no, I think I'm good for now" Peridot turned and started walking briskly towards the door, Jaspers heavy hand on their shoulder stopping them.  
"I'll go slow"

Peridot sighed, slightly fearfully "Okay, just… please be gentle"  
Jasper laughed "Don't worry, punches and body blows only, just focus on not getting hit"  
Peridot steeled themselves, trying to mimic the defensive posture that Jasper had taken before as they stepped back.  
"Ready?" Jasper raised their fists into a boxing guard  
Peridot nodded and Jasper leant forwards, launching themselves at the smaller gem.

Peridot hopped backwards as Jaspers fist stopped just short of their chest. Throwing themselves to the side to avoid the chasing jab, nearly stumbling but turning it into a duck to avoid the following haymaker.  
After a few seconds of frenzied dodging Peridot realised that there was a definite pattern to Jaspers attacks, just a simple loop of jab, jab, hook, uppercut, push forwards, right straight… Once they realised this they started pre-empting the blows, their clumsy dives becoming graceful weaves, moving with Jasper. Their bodies spinning around each other in a careful trade of movements. Peridot felt a strange feeling rising in their chest as a smile spread across their face, sweat dripping from their forehead.  
Then, they saw an opening, just as Jaspers hand was coming back from the second uppercut and their right arm was pulling back into a straight their face was unguarded.

They watched, waiting for the moment to come again as they swayed with Jasper, bobbing and weaving almost an inverse to Jaspers own movements.  
Then, there it was, Alpha let out a warbling war peep, leaping off of Peridots shoulder onto Jaspers face as they clenched their hand into a fist, pulling back to send their Orb, lying seemingly forgotten on the ground, into the back of Jaspers foot.  
Once again the large Gem started to fall back but this time Peridots pre-emptive triumph was cut off as Jaspers arm shot out, grabbing the front of their shirt, pulling them back with them.

Peridot swung through the air, feeling Jasper fling them upwards rather than pulling them down with them. Below them they saw Jasper fall back onto the floor, slapping their arm down to reduce the impact.  
Then they felt themselves falling back downwards, only to be caught by Jaspers strong hands around their waist, holding Peridot above them like a dancer in a lift.  
Peridot smiled as they saw the same happy grin from before on Jaspers face, the large gem breaking out into happy laughter and Peridot being unable to help joining it.

They felt a warmth spreading through them, a wave of happiness and pride. Then they saw Jaspers gem starting to glow, the large gems eyes tight shut as they laughed uproariously "good work Green" they said happily as Peridot felt their own gem warming, soft green light blossoming forth from it.  
Then Jasper dropped them, letting the smaller gem fall the short distance onto their chest and wrapping their arms around them in a tight hug.  
Then, everything went black.

Jasper and Peridot opened their eyes slowly, moving their arms around to try and prop themselves up. Four strong hands pressed down on the floor, pushing them into a sitting position.  
Peridot could feel Jasper, around them and part of them, held in an embrace where the lines between where one started and the other ended were blurred beyond meaning.  
Peridot caught sight of their legs, long and muscular, covered in sharp, angular red, green and orange stripes. Their heart soared as they felt their arms move down to stroke their leg gently, one of them large, bulky and muscular and the other, just below it, slimmer and sinewy, ending in long, delicate fingers like Peridots.

Peridot felt like their heart might burst from happiness when tears began to well in their eyes, a wave of sadness and loss so deep that they could feel the world growing darker around them spreading through their chest.  
"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to…" Their voice was deep and husky, with a slight musical tang to it.  
They drew their arms in, hugging their broad chest tightly, the feeling of despair starting to overwhelm them.  
Peridot tried to push themselves away, their vision darkening as they began to break the fusion.  
"No!, Please!" Their voice was thick with emotion, choking on a gasp of pain. "Just… Just don't leave me"

They began to cry freely, Peridot relaxing and pulling themselves closer to where they felt Jasper. Wrapping all the feeling of love and admiration that they had been holding inside them around the small ball of pain and loss.  
"It's okay." Peridot wasn't sure who said that as they whispered thee words to themselves, bringing their knees up to their chest and hugging them tightly.  
The large Gem felt so small inside them, so dwarfed by the darkness that threatened to overwhelm them. Peridot clung tighter, scared that they wouldn't be enough to hold them together as their vision darkened, Jasper pulling away from them, retreating into themself.

Then they opened their eyes, a small peeping noise coming from just in front of them. Alpha sat on their knee, looking so tiny. It made another soft peep, leaning forwards to rub against their nose but toppling forwards, falling into their lap where it wiggled its legs in the air for a few seconds before managing to roll itself over, snuggling up against their chest and humming happily.  
Peridot and Jasper stroked the tiny Robonoid gently, a feeling of maternal warmth that matched Peridots own starting to spread out from Jasper.  
Peridot smiling inwardly and outwardly as they felt Jasper coming back to them. The sadness still there, but now it wasn't pushing them apart. Holding them close instead, sharing the warmth as well as the pain.  
They began to laugh, tears streaming down their face as they lay back on the floor, hugging Alpha to their chest, feeling it humming with love. Like a tiny ball of happy emotions that had been hidden away and kept safe from the pain that had threatened to crush them.

They breathed slowly, feeling their chest rising and falling together, occasionally catching as their tears continued to flow, letting out the emotions that bubbled inside them.


	8. Chapter 8

"Thankyou." Jasper said once the tears had stopped flowing long enough for them to collect themselves "We just looked so much like…"  
"Carnelian" The name drifted into Peridots mind, blurting out of their shared mouth.  
They felt Jaspers sudden confusion shiver through their body "How do you kn-"  
Jaspers question cut off as the images rose into Peridots mind, diffusing into their shared consciousness. "Lapis" they both spat the word out at the same time, Peridot with shame, jasper with anger.

"I'm sorry! They just showed me… I wanted to know more about you" Peridot felt their body start to distort as anxiety crept into their voice.  
But the only anger they felt was directed at Lapis "It's okay. I guess it makes it easier to explain this way." They stood slowly, lifting Alpha up onto their shoulder.  
"I just, I never really ever felt like we unfused. One second we were together and then I was on the ship home. It was the first time I had ever been unconscious and I lost everything."  
Peridot could feel the anger and sadness emanating from Jasper, the fear that drove their constant training and paranoia. The images of the battle Lapis had shown them swimming through their mind.

"THAT'S ROSE QUARTZ!" the sudden roar startled Peridot, making them cling tighter to Jasper, feeling the fragile bond of fusion stretching as Jasper dug violently through the memories.  
"That's her talking… Lapis wasn't there? How could they have seen-" they fell to their knees, doubling over and clutching their chest as the yellow light exploded in the dreamlike images. Peridot letting out a scream as they separated, flinging each other across the room, the fusion breaking violently.

Peridot lay on their back, clutching their throbbing head. Eventually the pain started to die down and their vision cleared, propping themselves up to look over at Jasper, huddled in the corner. They looked so small and vulnerable, their colours muted.  
Peridot staggered over, grabbing their shoulder and heaving with all their strength, rolling Jasper onto their side "Are you okay?" they started to ask before seeing Jaspers face, drenched in tears. A wretched expression on their usually confident face.

"It is my fault" they whispered "they sacrificed themself for me" pain twists Jaspers face as they slammed their fist into the ground, making Peridot jump back "WE PROMISED TO STAY TOGETHER! No matter what"  
Peridot wrung their hands desperately, trying to think of what to say to calm the distraught gem  
"Wh-wait! Lapis didn't show me anymore on purpose, maybe… maybe they're okay?" Peridot squirmed, knowing how lame and pointless that sounded when they remembered something important "They didn't retreat into their gem..." Jasper looked up at them, a look of confusion breaking through their tears and Peridot turned and started to sprint off, calling out over their shoulder "Just… just stay there! I'm going to talk to Lapis, maybe they're still on Earth! And then... then we can find them!"

Jasper said something quietly but Peridot couldn't hear, rushing through the corridors towards Lapis cell, grim determination in their eyes.  
"LAPIS!" they shouted, skidding to a halt in front of the cell, lapis glancing up calmly "YOU HAVE TO SHOW ME WHAT HAPPENED AFTER THE EXPLOSION!" They breathed heavily, catching their breath  
"Let me go" Lapis said quietly, examining their fingernails  
"Fine" Peridot gasped making Lapis look at them with surprise and glee  
"And take me home"  
"What, no! You know I can't do that. Just… Just help us! And then we can all go home"  
"Aurgh!" Lapis shouts angrily "Don't you understand? You aren't going there to do good, Earth was the biggest fuck up in Gem history, you should have just left it alone but nooooo! You're just going to head back down to open it all up!" they throw their hands up in frustration stamping around the small cell.

"I don't care about that!" Peridot yells back "I just need to know what happened to those Gems, at the battle you showed me, please!"  
Peridot calls up their screen, turning off the containment field, tears gathering in their eyes.  
Lapis dashes forwards immediately, pushing Peridot up against the wall, the reflective sheen starting to cloud their eyes "Alright then, fine. I'll show you all of it."  
Peridot could feel their stomach plummeting as they once again fell forwards into Lapis' memories

A sudden flash of light and they were standing in front of a wailing stone, Peridot only recognised the ancient technology from their history classes, slapping at it angrily "Come on damn it!"  
A few bursts of deafening static exploded out of the stone as Lapis hammered the button before the voice that Peridot now knew to belonged to Rose Quartz started playing, filling the room.  
"-and in this time I have grown to value these creatures and admire their potential. We cannot keep taking away their futures for our own selfish desires! For this reason I implore you all to join me, throw off the rules and regulations of the Diamond authority and embrace our own-"  
The voice cut off as Lapis threw the stone to the ground, shattering it.

Lapis turned their head towards the door, Peridot noticing that they seemed to be inside a much larger residence than the last time they saw inside Lapis' head. "ARGH!" Lapis shouts "WHAT?! You better have had some luck with the standing stones because Rose's damn propaganda is still jamming the network!"  
"Ummmm... not exactly. No" a nervous voice called back, the door sliding open to show a Gem warrior standing there, pointing their weapon hesitantly at the tall Gem standing calmly behind them. "Rose Quartz is here, they want to talk to you"  
Peridots vision swung around dizzyingly as Lapis leapt behind the table, flipping it to form a crude barricade and pointing accusingly at Rose as they stepped through the doorway slowly, hands raised  
"What are you doing! Arrest her!" Lapis shouted as the Warrior Gem stepped back nervously  
"They came here alone, they said they just wanted to talk to you and then they would surrender"

"Thank you Agate" Rose said, smiling warmly at the nervous looking gem before stepping closer to Lapis "Lapis, we've been here for years. Can't you see the beauty of this world? Can't you see how we are destroying it?"

Lapis stood up hands balling into fists "I don't care! I don't care about this stupid planet or your stupid revolution! I always hated this disgusting dirtball and now. Now I can't even leave because you and your stupid stupid stupid Rebels are blockading all the warp panels!" tears began to distort Peridots vision, gleaming at the edge of Lapis eyes.  
Rose just walked forwards slowly, holding her arms out to them. "I'm so sorry Lapis. I never wanted anybody to be hurt by this… But you know that you are too powerful for me to leave you alone. The devastation you could wreak on this planet could undo everything we are fighting for." A cold look came into Rose's wide, caring eyes.

Lapis staggered backwards "No, GUARDS! HELP!"  
They looked to the doorway which slid open to reveal a solitary Pearl. Sweating profusely and holding a long spear in either hand. Behind them Peridot could see small clusters of shattered Gems and discarded weapon stuck in the ground. "Rose, do you require assistance?" the Pearl asked, breathing heavily.  
"No. You should go. This won't take long" Rose stopped in front of Lapis, their back up against the wall. The Pearl bowed and left, closing the door behind them.

As Rose looked back over her shoulder at the Pearl, Lapis leapt forwards, their wings flaring out behind them whipping around to strike at Rose's gem.  
A pink shield, covered in familiar patterns burst into being in between Rose and Lapis, letting out a loud, pure note as their wings struck it, throwing Lapis back into the wall and shattering their wings into droplets of water.  
Rose Quartz crouched down in front of Lapis, sadness heavy in her eyes as she pulled the smaller Gem into a tight embrace. Whispering in their ear "I'll try and send you home as soon as I can"

Then, Peridot felt their hand on Lapis gem, followed by excruciating pain, beyond anything Peridot had ever imagined exploded through their mind as Rose tore out their gem.  
Everything went blank and Peridot was left floating in a sea of darkness, remembered pain still wracking their body as Lapis' voice drifted into their head  
[Then she put me in the mirror. It made me one of the lucky ones. She intended to send me back to Homeworld to show everyone what happened and to 'give them a message'] Lapis' voice is thick with disgust [but the Galaxy warp was damaged before she could. So she just left me there… guess she didn't like reminders of all the nasty little things she and her precious Crystal Gems had to do to save their filthy meat monkeys.]  
[But how did you escape then?] Peridot gasped, trying to clear their head.

Lapis laughed sadly [She had a change of heart… A big one]  
Peridot didn't understand the joke. And considering how much their head still hurt they probably wouldn't have laughed anyway.  
[Just show me what happened to Chalcedony!.. And the other Gems] Peridot added quickly but they could already feel Lapis smiling at them gleefully  
[Ohhh, so that's who's asking is it?] lapis chuckled as Peridot felt a strange, sudden sensation, like having their insides being poured out. Memories swimming unbidden into their mind, flipping through them like pages in a book until the came to them looking down at Jasper, happiness spread across their face as their gems began to glow in unison.  
[Wait, no! What are you doing?] Peridot tried to block the pictures from their mind, feeling Lapis hands reaching into their head, brushing their attempts to resist away.

[Oh, did I forget to tell you? I can see your memories here as well] Lapis said humourlessly as they watched Peridot and Jasper fuse. [Urgh, so you still went after them huh. Good for you.] their voice took on a sarcastic tone as it echoed through Peridots head [Well I guess I have to help you now, I sure do want Jasper to get their happy ended afterall... Well, it might take a bit of remembering to see if I can recollect what happened to their little 'friend'. Why don't you join me for it?]

Peridot screamed soundlessly as they were thrown suddenly into the middle of a raging battle, all around them were Gems fighting and dying, tearing at each other with an insane violence.  
And everytime one of them fell, their Gems shattering and their bodies disappearing, Peridot felt themselves jump into their mind and relive their last moments.  
Peridot struggled to try and close their eyes but they couldn't, the pain of a thousand wounds flashing through them, darkness claimed them over and over as they felt themselves die.  
And inbetween it all they saw fleeting glimpses, like an extra frame hidden in some ultraviolent animation, of monsters, clearly Gems but wrong and twisted.  
Lapis' voice whispered in their head [They didn't die. What was done to them. What Yellow Diamond, your beloved leader, did to them was far worse]

Suddenly Peridot collapsed back, real pain mixing with the remembered horrors as they struck their head on the wall.  
They looked around dazed to see Lapis standing in front of them, reeling back as Alpha clung to their face, pulling at their hair with its tiny legs.  
"Ahhh! Stupid thing!" Lapis flailed around wildly, smacking Alpha to the ground and stomping on it and crushing the small Robonoid easily.  
Peridots hand clutched at their chest, feeling a tiny part of themselves shattering with it, a connection they hadn't even realised was their breaking away.

Lapis staggered back, trying to wipe the goo off their feet "Ewwww… So does that answer your questions? Are you happy now?" they laughed manically, their face twisted with the same pain that still echoed in Peridots head.  
Dimply Peridot became aware of a loud thumping noise, lolling their head to the side to see Jasper sprinting down the corridor "Peridot! Are you okay?"  
Peridot slurred out a vague mumble, their mouth still not working properly.  
Lapis continued to laugh as Jasper barrelled into them, punching the small gem so hard they flew down the corridor, skidding off the floor as their arms and legs thrashed around in a painful looking tangle.  
Jasper crouched down in front of Peridot, shaking their shoulders "Are you okay? What did she do? I heard you screaming"  
"She showed me… the war" Peridot finally spat out, struggling against Jaspers grasp to try and crawl over to Alphas broken remains.

Peridot fell over again as Jasper let them go, dashing over to where Lapis was standing unsteadily. Grabbing them and slamming them into the ground "THEY'RE JUST A CHILD! WHY WOULD YOU DO ThAT!?"  
Lapis continued to laugh as Jaspers fists slammed into them "They asked!"  
Jasper roared, increasing the intensity of their savage beating, hammering craters into Lapis' slim frame.

"Stop!" Peridot shouted out, standing unsteadily. Alpha's remains cradled against their chest "Just stop." They hung their head, turning away "Just put them back in their cell. It doesn't matter."  
Peridot staggered over to Jasper and put a hand on their shoulder, trying to calm the furious gem "It's not their fault" Lapis laughter continued to ring out loudly now sounding completely insane as tears flooded their face "they just don't have anywhere to go anymore… I think they're jealous of you. Because you didn't lose your home."  
Jasper breathed heavily, looking down at the small, crying gem cackling madly beneath them. Wordlessly they picked them up and tossed them carelessly back into their cell, Peridot calling up their screen and sealing it.

"Did you find anything out?" Jasper asked quietly "about Chalcedony?"  
Peridot thought of the things they saw if Lapis' horrifying display. A huge Centipede like monster, acid dripping from its slavering jaws climbing a huge statue. "No" L-Lapis didn't know anything.  
They didn't want to lie but they didn't want Jasper to go chasing the twisted memory of their partner. Right now they just wanted to go home.  
"That's okay. Thanks. For trying" Jasper put an arm around Peridot's shoulder, ruffling their hair half-heartedly... Peridot didn't bother to fix it. " Guess I should go and do… something"  
Jasper turned to go, stopping as Peridot grasped their hand "Lets just finish this. Together. We can get rid of the Crystal Gems. And Earth. Forever." Jasper smiled unsteadily down at them "Maybe then all the bad memories will go away…" Jasper lunged forwards to catch Peridot as they slumped to the ground, passing out.


End file.
